A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the bliss of souls like mine.

I am so happy, my dear friend, so absorbed in the exquisite sense of mere tranquil existence, that I neglect my talents. I should be incapable of drawing a single stroke at the present moment; and yet I feel that I never was a greater artist than now.

When all begins, stop!

When, while the lovely valley teems with vapour around me, and the meridian sun strikes the upper surface of the impenetrable foliage of my trees, and but a few stray gleams steal into the inner sanctuary, I throw myself down among the tall grass by the trickling stream; and, as I lie close to the earth, a thousand unknown plants are noticed by me.

 I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the bliss of souls like mine.

Jhonny Block

When I hear the buzz of the little world among the stalks, and grow familiar with the countless indescribable forms of the insects and flies, then I feel the presence of the Almighty, who formed us in his own image, and the breath of that universal love which bears and sustains us, as it floats around us in an eternity of bliss; and then, my friend, when darkness overspreads my eyes.

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The story of my dream

Heaven and earth seem to dwell in my soul and absorb its power, like the form of a beloved mistress, then I often think with longing, Oh, would I could describe these conceptions, could impress upon paper all that is living so full and warm within me, that it might be the mirror of my soul, as my soul is the mirror of the infinite God! O my friend — but it is too much for my strength — I sink under the weight of the splendour of these visions!

Fun fact – I never understood why women shied away from red lipstick in the work place. If it makes you feel like you could take over the world and smash your targets, why the hell shouldn’t you wear it?

And then I got hit by the fear.

I wore light pink ‘neutral’ shades for the first few weeks of my new job. It started out because I didn’t want to worry about it smudging or bleeding, whilst also worrying about conquering a new role and making new friends. And then, the weeks wore on, and on. I admit, after a while I began to worry… would the all male office now find it weird if I rocked up with a pillar box red smile, after so many weeks of my ‘natural’ make up?

It sounds silly when I write it out. Part of me wants to eye roll because a) do men really pay that much attention to our make up? And b) what does it matter what others think? You do you gurrl.

It sounds silly, but it was true. I guess pushing yourself out of your comfort zone (and in my case into a new job) makes you question yourself, your capabilities and how you want to be perceived. And this had an effect on how I presented myself.

Eventually this new found nervousness about statement looks seeped into my weekend style. The ‘fun’ fashion disappeared. Super shiny silver boots? Nah, just these plain ones will do. Hats at any given opportunity? Not anymore.

It was only when I made a conscious effort to wear a dress I hadn’t worn in ages that I woke up. I remembered what it felt like to wear an outfit that felt like ‘me.’ An outfit that may not be practical, or on trend, or cool and minimalistic but made we want to shake my ass in the kitchen and announce that yep here I am.

Since then, I’ve tried to recapture that feeling whenever I dress. Though sometimes it’s harder than others – especially in the office – I’m trying. I may need to give myself a pep talk before committing to things that once seemed like second nature, but that doesn’t matter.

To me clothes, make up and moods have always been linked. My moods affect what I want to wear, and in turn what I wear can affect my moods. When I want to feel sparkly and like I’m living my best, I dress in a way that will help me feel that. And statement lipstick, silly shoes and all the colours/accessories are my way of doing it.

To quote Gossip Girl:

These last few months have taught me how true that is. I’ve rediscovered my personal style, and I’m not letting it loose again.

I feel like I’ve almost forgotten how to blog. Not the best, when you’re supposed to write blogs as part of your day job eh?

Lately life has been pretty brilliant but pretty darn busy. Within the space of three weeks I created a strategy for introducing a new product line (as part of my degree – which meant a lot of extra research etc) secured a new house, moved in with Craig, and started a new job.

And when life gets busy, to put it bluntly my skin tends to get a bit shit. I suffer from eczema and when I get run down, it tends to resurface. Although admittedly it is a whole lot better than it used to be and is only on my arms, it’s still enough to knock a gal. It’s not too bad, and without looking looking you might not know it was there. But I do, and that’s enough to stop me from wanting to get my arms out for the world.

Luckily, I have found the denim dress of dreams. Or should I say it found me? I feel a bit like it was meant to be. I’d recently got rid of my last denim dress, when this bad boy rocked  up and snuck into my heart.

Denim dresses seem to be one of those things you see in some form or another every year. I’m about to go off on a bit of a tangent now, but lately I’ve been wanting to look after my clothes a bit better and buy more classic styles. I mean don’t get me wrong, show me a bright colour and a frill and I’m still there – but I guess I want to move away from the whole fast fashion thing. You know, where you wear it three times, it falls apart and then you bin it and move onto the next thing. Must be my age.

Anyway, back to this dreamy denim dress – I got it a few weeks ago from New Look, it has sold out on their site, but it is still available in store I think.

I love that it is a simple shirt dress style with a tie waist. The tie means you can show off your waist when you want, or leave it as a looser style after one to many BBQs and Pimms. Who said you have to be slim for summer clothes?

On the shoulders there is some cute embroidered flowers – their positioning makes me feel a bit like a cowgirl, not gonna lie. I like to think this detailing makes it a bit more current – tapping into the embroidery trend which is huge – but isn’t so much of a statement that it can never be worn again. Like them high wedge heel trainers we all bought a few years back lol.

I’d really like to wear this dress with some chunky strappy sandals but I’m yet to find a pair I like. As such, I’ve teamed this with some peep toe ankle boots in khaki that have a cut out on the heel –though you can’t see this in the photos. My bad.

Though in my defence of not having photos of all the angles, I took these photos whilst me and Craig was house sitting for my sister and I think most of the village locals were a bit bemused to see a man knelt down on a back street taking photos of me whilst our (temporary) cat cried from the side lines.

As I sat down to type this, it dawned on me I don’t think I’ve ever done a haul post before. I mean, I might have done, but I’m 98% sure I haven’t. Surely it is some sort of blogging sin that in over a year I’ve yet to do one? I’m not even sure where to begin. Hence the rambling I suppose.

I would have liked to show you what these clothes actually look like on, however a weekend long bout of hay fever does not cute outfit of the day photos make. In fact they don’t make anything, apart from a teary snuffling mess trying to paw sympathy off anyone within a 5 foot radius.

I went to Primark to buy one thing (good intentions and all that.) All I wanted was a pair of flat black shoes for the days when I was doing photography at work (you can read about that here) and for driving around in, because somehow every single pair of shoes I owned had a heel. Apart from some high-shine metallic trainers that didn’t really go with office attire.

1. Plain Black Shoes.

I bought these, mainly because they fit… which for a size 4.5 – 5 is like winning the lottery in Primark. I could almost feel the angels singing hallelujah. I like the fact there suedette and so I think don’t look quite as cheap as a lot of the other black shoes Primarni stocks. I thought the gold hardware and tassels brought them up a notch, but I’ve developed a love-hate relationship with them. Yes we love a good tassel, however we do not love sounding like a donkey on Blackpool beach every time we take a step. They are just so damn jingly.

2. Accessories

I could have easily filled my bag with all the flamingo printed goodies in store, but until this year’s holiday has been decided on I am attempting to restrain myself. My go to style of sunglasses tend to be more cat-eyed, because I feel that aviators just make me looks a bit less sculpted. Can aviators cancel out contouring? Now there is a scary thought. I got these though because all the rose gold reflectiveness drew me in. They make you feel sassier than I don’t know what, and are bloody brilliant at hiding the effects of hay fever.

The neckerchief is apparently a bandana, according to the label. It only cost a measly £1.50 but I think this shade of blue is perfect for spring/summer… it’s not so bright that you cannot wear it with everything, but isn’t too dark either

3. Accidental 2^nd Pair of Shoes.

Oops… I mean they were an accident, but flat shoes are always useful, right guys? These are a strong tan, verging on orange and again a suedette. Despite owning flat shoes a lot more expensive than these in the past, I think they may be the comfiest flats ever. I’ve worn them everywhere, like properly everywhere. I’ve worn them so much I’m tempted to buy another pair just for when these poor overworked things give up the go. I love the T-bar style and when worn with cropped jeans, they make me feel like a proper, actual blogger.

4. Suede Pinafore Dress

I apparently have a fetish for suede this season, who knew? I got this lil babe as a last minute purchase and I am so glad I did. A plain A-line style it has two pockets on the front and a racer back. Primark could have inserted a concealed zip at the side but I think the chunky gold just adds a nice little touch. After all, hardware and utilitarian are a match made in heaven kids.  It also comes in a baby pink but I felt this one would be a smidge more flattering, either way they are so buttery soft it’s untrue.

5. Victoriana Blouse

This lil sweetheart was teamed with a pink pleated midi-skirt in store and looked so romantic I was 80% sure Prince Harry was about to propose to me. He didn’t, but the top consoled me. Tbh, the skirt would have too if I was a few inches taller but hey ho. Although almost every Victoriana top, in every season has lace panels and frills (this one has frills both down the front and around the sleeves, with lace inserts on the shoulders) I love the little tie on this one, it just makes it feel more up to date somehow. It is really long though, like long enough to shock your boyfriend because it goes on forever. I’ve been wearing it tucked into various skirts, but am now playing with the idea of toughing it up with the aforementioned pinafore. We’ll see.

6. Makeup Bag.

At home I usually use Muji make up storage boxes/trays, but knew I needed something a bit more practical for a recent weekend away. I don’t normally go for such bright prints, but hey its summer and it’s got a pom-pom. What more excuses do you need? Although it looks a good size anyway, it turns out this is the cosmetic world’s answer to the Tardis. It holds so, so much. So much you can take all the glittery shimmer eyeshadows you want and wear none of them.