I can’t tell you when it started, or how it started… but for a while now, something has been ‘off’.  Things I used to enjoy no longer brought the same level of happiness, I’d lost my drive and felt constantly on edge.

Then I started getting chest pains, shallow breathing and a racing it heart and it dawned on me this might be anxiety. I can’t say 100% because I haven’t been to the doctors but the symptoms were certainly matching up.

It was draining and it was difficult – especially since I have no obvious reason to feel this way. I love the life I have created for myself, I enjoy my job and while things have been busy they didn’t feel overwhelming. In short, I had no idea what was going on. Which made me even more anxious.

Then I read Rhianna’s blog about ‘background anxiety’ and realised that was it. Learning other people experienced this (anxiety seemingly without a trigger) instantly made it feel more manageable. Therefore I started having a proper think about ways in which I could minimise these feelings or at least manage them on a daily basis.

So here’s 5 changes I’m making today.

• Letting Go Of Should – Should is apparently one of my favourite words, throughout the day I use it countless times. I should start the sales report early. I should do blog photos, Instagram posts and uni work this evening. Instead of should I’m using could. I could do the ironing, I could do that assignment. Essentially it’s the same but somehow it feels like I’m instantly putting less pressure on myself.

• Cutting Back On Caffeine – I wouldn’t say I’m a big caffeine fiend. I was having a black coffee in the morning and then two or three cups of tea a day. Hardly excessive in my view.

This said, if you have anxiety caffeine is apparently devil incarnate so I’ve swapped to a                      morning tea and am replacing an evening brew with a herbal substitute (herbal tea that is…              that sounded a bit like I’ve taken up drugs lol)

Since then, when I’ve crumbled and had a coffee I’ve noticed my heart racing in the hour or              so that followed, and when I’ve resisted the drink I’ve generally just felt a bit calmer and more          in control.

• Bed Time Routine – I used to have an exemplary bed time routine. Wellness bloggers the world over would have basked in admiration of my dedication. And then my uni deadline approached and I let it slip. I’m really trying to get back to a routine of skin care, winding down and sleep habits to help me feel my best the following day.

• Redefining Self-Care – Self-care normally means bath bombs, candles and all the stuff we use to pamper ourselves at the end of a long day. However I’m trying to adjust my thinking to see tasks such as household chores as an act of self-care. It might not be as enjoyable or Instagramable as a Lush bath bomb, but tidy house, tidy mind or so they say.

• Offline Activities – Whether its reading or colouring I’m trying to do a relaxing, offline activity every day. Because 9 hours spent staring at a computer, followed by an evening of phones, TV and laptops just doesn’t sound that healthy does it?

I’m hoping they will go some way towards helping me feel like me again. Have you made any changes to help yourself feel better? If so, let me know your top tips!

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit afloat and, to put it bluntly a bit crap (more of that in future posts.) This weekend however it was as if the clouds lifted, I felt lighter, more focused and more positive. I was ready to finally get my shit together again. I even cleaned the inside of the car. Shock Horror.

But now it’s Monday and I’m writing this post from my sick bed, praying this is a temporary blip and not the bug that’s been flying about the office.

So in an effort to cheer myself up, I thought it was high time to relaunch the ‘Seven Good Things’ series to try and appreciate the small things that made me happy in the past week. I used to love writing these posts, and you guys seemed to like reading them… So let’s get started

• No De-Icing – How good does it feel to get up in the morning, look out of the window and see a clear windscreen? No frozen fingers and rushing about for me!
• Lighter Evenings – Today as I drove out of work I actually debated whether I needed to put my lights on. Even though there’s technically the same amount of hours in the evenings, when it gets lighter it just feels like we have so much more free time.
• Being Honest – I know I can talk to my family and friends about anything, but that doesn’t mean its always easy. I’m planning on writing a full post on this soon, but lately I’ve just been feeling anxious and as if something is ‘off.’ When I finally came clean not only did it make me feel better, it helped remind me that whatever we are feeling, it is totally –and always – valid.
• A Gut Feeling – Me and Craig have been viewing lots of houses recently, and this weekend we found one that just felt right. We’ve booked a second viewing, so fingers crossed!
• Going Out Of The Ordinary – On Saturday I attended a murder mystery dinner filled with good food, live music and intrigue… Sometimes doing something different is just what the doctor ordered.
• Fruit – It’s no secret that my eating habits tend to reflect my mood. Feel like shit= eat shit. In an effort to turn things around instead of our ritual Sunday pudding, Craig whipped up an amazing fruit/yoghurt combo that made me realise what I’d been missing.
• Thinking About The Afterlife – For my mum’s birthday we went to a psychic night at a local pub. Murder mysteries, psychic nights… there seems to be a theme here lol. While the medium wasn’t the most accurate (or convincing) thinking about the supernatural or spirit world also inspires the writer within me.

So there we have it, my 7 Good Things of the past week. If you’ve been appreciating the small things this week I’d love to know, so don’t hesitate to get in touch!

First of all, let me confess, I love the Greek Isles, as you probably know from my other posts.

However, if you’ve never been to Crete, then I strongly recommend a visit. Apart from the obvious on sunshine and beaches, there are views that will quieten your soul and the chance to lose yourself in Greek mythology. What more could you want from a holiday?

I love learning about history and Greek myths fascinate me, so I may be biased when I say it is one of the best Greek Isles to visit. I’ve been a few times now, and these are five places you absolutely must visit during your stay.

Spinalonga

A popular tourist spot, you can pay for an organised tour or jump on one of the local boats that go between the mainland and the fort every few hours.

Why visit? Lots of history teamed amazing views over the sea and nearby islands.

Top Tip: Avoid the organised tours, wear sensible shoes and take a picnic. I’ve been on an organised tour and been without a tour guide – and to be honest I don’t think organised tours add that much. After all, the place is full of information boards.

If you go by yourself you can go off the beaten track to the top of the fort for lunch away from the crowds with a gorgeous – and quiet – back drop. It feels so special to be high up, on a historical site all by yourself.

Agios Nicholas

Again, another popular tourist spot! A lot of people I’ve met go to Crete to spend a week purely in good ol’ Ag Nick.

Why Visit? Shops and bars a plenty!

Top Tip: Try everything once. Most small shops will offer you some sort of taster or demo – even if it doesn’t sound like your thing, give it a go. Keep your eyes peeled for Raki with Honey, a lot smoother than normal Raki, it tastes amazing but still has a definite kick.

Top Tip Number 2: Invest in olive oil based products. Olive oil based creams and soaps are some of the best skin care secrets I’ve found. Plus many are infused and smell uh-mazing. Whenever I use them I’m taken back to the holiday vibes.

Knossos Palace

If you are interested in Greek mythology this has to be on your list. Legend says this is the site of the Labyrinth in which the Minator lived.

Why visit? The ruins of an ancient palace, great views and lots of history.

Top Tip: When I visited I took advantage of the tour guides and after talking to others that didn’t, I am so glad I did. As well as the legends, they can also tell you about what life was like inside and outside the palace at the time. For example, if you lived inside the palace walls you had almost double to life expectancy of those outside the palace. Bloody hell.

The Birth Place Of Zeus.

Again another site that is steeped in history and legend. The cave is supposedly where Zeus was born and raised as a child.

Why visit? The most incredible views on the way up the cave, along with spectacular rock formations within the cave. Also how often do you get the chance to visit the birth place of a god?

Top Tip: Be warned, getting to the cave is not for the faint-hearted. The walk to the cave is quiet steep, so definitely take some water and go on a cooler day. There are locals hiring out donkeys, but we decided to walk as it seemed cruel for the donkeys to be plodding up and down all day in the sun. *sad face*

Also, the inside of the cave is deceptively cold and steep. If you have trouble with your knees you may want to give this one a miss.

Heraklion

One, if not the main city in Crete it has everything you would expect from a Mediterranean city.

Why visit? Full of museums, shops, bars and restaurants you can spend hours exploring and there’s always somewhere new to see.

Top Tip: Look for a restaurant around the square, yes you may pay slightly more but it’s a great spot for people watching!

If you know of any other places in Crete/Greece that are worth a visit, let me know! And don’t forget, you can always find out more about Crete, by visiting the Greek Tourist Board.

Fun fact – I never understood why women shied away from red lipstick in the work place. If it makes you feel like you could take over the world and smash your targets, why the hell shouldn’t you wear it?

And then I got hit by the fear.

I wore light pink ‘neutral’ shades for the first few weeks of my new job. It started out because I didn’t want to worry about it smudging or bleeding, whilst also worrying about conquering a new role and making new friends. And then, the weeks wore on, and on. I admit, after a while I began to worry… would the all male office now find it weird if I rocked up with a pillar box red smile, after so many weeks of my ‘natural’ make up?

It sounds silly when I write it out. Part of me wants to eye roll because a) do men really pay that much attention to our make up? And b) what does it matter what others think? You do you gurrl.

It sounds silly, but it was true. I guess pushing yourself out of your comfort zone (and in my case into a new job) makes you question yourself, your capabilities and how you want to be perceived. And this had an effect on how I presented myself.

Eventually this new found nervousness about statement looks seeped into my weekend style. The ‘fun’ fashion disappeared. Super shiny silver boots? Nah, just these plain ones will do. Hats at any given opportunity? Not anymore.

It was only when I made a conscious effort to wear a dress I hadn’t worn in ages that I woke up. I remembered what it felt like to wear an outfit that felt like ‘me.’ An outfit that may not be practical, or on trend, or cool and minimalistic but made we want to shake my ass in the kitchen and announce that yep here I am.

Since then, I’ve tried to recapture that feeling whenever I dress. Though sometimes it’s harder than others – especially in the office – I’m trying. I may need to give myself a pep talk before committing to things that once seemed like second nature, but that doesn’t matter.

To me clothes, make up and moods have always been linked. My moods affect what I want to wear, and in turn what I wear can affect my moods. When I want to feel sparkly and like I’m living my best, I dress in a way that will help me feel that. And statement lipstick, silly shoes and all the colours/accessories are my way of doing it.

To quote Gossip Girl:

These last few months have taught me how true that is. I’ve rediscovered my personal style, and I’m not letting it loose again.