I feel a bit sheepish writing this, as if I’m crawling into bed with a lover after an argument. An argument in which I realised approximately half way through that I was wrong and that I was acting like an arse. I feel like I should be turning to you tomorrow morning and asking “erm… are we ok?”

If you (like my imaginary lover) have been wondering what the hell has been going on with this little blog and my passion for blogging, let me explain.

Way, way, back in April I found myself busy at work and with a uni deadline looming. Then we also started house hunting, because let’s face it, after time spent getting a deposit together who wants to wait any longer?

And so, as my to-do list grew longer, blogging fell down my list of priorities. Again.

We then bought a house, moved in and played happy families for a few weeks. Then the bad news hit – it isn’t really my news to share but let’s just say it was totally unexpected.

It’s impact was hard. Sudden. Overwhelming. Whilst it didn’t affect me directly, it meant wishing the world would stop. Wanting to pause life, long enough to be there for the people you love.

As the weeks and months wore on, this little blog would dance across my mind but I’d tell it to sit down, go back to the corner, go back to being ignored. Other than making it through the days, I wasn’t doing anything ’blog-worthy’ (let alone Insta-worthy.) Besides, when the world feels busy and harsh, it can feel wrong to set time aside for things like this.

Which is ridiculous, even if I say so myself.

Having a space to be creative, to build, to explore new ideas and let the mind wander is nothing to be guilty about. Taking time out to be creative can help you escape from day-to-day life, even if it’s only for a ten minute respite.

During my time away, I convinced myself I’d fallen out of love with blogging. That I didn’t have the time nor the patience to grow the platform. In short, I forgot why I started. I forgot that creating was not about the possible rewards it might bring, it was about having a voice. Sharing your story.

But now I’ve remembered, and in this rambling post once again declaring: I’m getting back to blogging. (Again.)

You may have guessed from my Instagram, but this year I’ve vowed to spend a bit more time outdoors. Exploring new places is one of my favourite things and being close to nature always leaves me feeling more centred and inspired.

So with that in mind, I recently spent the weekend in Wycoller Country Park. Now, I should confess something here: I’d heard about Wycoller, but never been. As such I didn’t realise it was only 15 minutes down the road from my house. Now I know I will definitely be visiting more often!

Why Is There To Do?

You mean other than the taking in the rolling hills and lovely views?

Wycoller offers a number of walks, with something for every ability. Admittedly, I didn’t think these were sign posted that well, but if you head over to the park’s website you can find details of the various trails and work out which is one best for you.

If you don’t fancy conquering the hills, there are also ruins to explore and rivers to paddle in, along with bird watching posts and a barn full of local history artifacts.

On our walk we headed up to the Atom (though to me it looked more like a UFO) It’s basically a round sculpture that you can enter and see perfect ‘snapshots’ of the scenes. Whilst my visit to Wycoller was child free, the children there certainly enjoyed seeing a piece of art they could hide in and scramble through.

Talking of kids, you may not know it but Wycoller boasts its own village of fairies!

On the way down to the village keep your eyes peeled for colourful little doors nestled in the trees. Nobody (it is claimed) knows where the doors have come from, only that they appeared a few months ago.

Even as I’m heading into my late twenties (gulp) it was great to see someone had made such an effort to bring a touch of magic for the visitors – they really made me smile!

Another thing that made me smile was the tea room.

With old stone floors, bare brick walls and a roaring log fire, this is the quirkiest, cosiest place you could visit. Full of mismatched tables, rugs, trinkets and lit in the soft glow of Tiffany lamps here you can get ‘proper food’ such as pie and peas and home made soup.

I opted for a scone and hot chocolate and trust me when I say you will not find a bigger scone. Or a chocolate-ier hot drink.

 Why Visit?

 It is simple, down to earth and nourishes the soul in a way bigger or more established parks can’t. Wycoller is not the day out you need to plan in advance, pack for and pencil in. All you need a pound for parking and the desire to do something different.

With so many walks on offer, you can pass through the dog walkers and find yourself truly, quietly alone. In a world full of notifications and crowds, being away from the world with no signal feels liberating. It feels like free time should.

Call me an optimist (or maybe delusional) but at the grand old age of 26 I like to think I know myself pretty well. I know it all might change, but for now I know what I value. I know what motivates me. I know why sometimes I act the way I do, even when it isn’t the best idea. Like investing in a semi-permanent black lipstick. (Who knew that was a bad idea? Lol)

Sometimes however, you need something unexpected to shine a light on other aspects of your personality. To help you learn more about your needs, your fears and help you grow.

Sometimes you need an unexpected invitation to Russia, for example.

Now there is a sentence I never thought I would write.

Craig’s mum, grandmother and family friend were planning a girls only trip to Russia – did I want to join?  For those that don’t know, Russia is one of my guilty obsessions. I love the history, the decadence of the Tsars and the mystery of Rasputin. It should have been an easy question to answer. Of course I’ll bloody come!

However something was niggling away at me, and I didn’t want to commit. When I was told they needed an answer within a day or two it felt like the death knell. I told myself it was the fear of traveling (and spending a week) with people I didn’t know well.  People that hadn’t seen me at my grumpy mid-flight worst.

But now, I think I understand the nerves. When I committed to the trip, all I knew was the dates and the fact it involved St Petersburg and Moscow. I was having to let go of control.

I couldn’t plan the route, stalk the hotels on trip advisor and generally have input in the decisions. I had to trust in the judgement of others. This may not sound like a big thing, but to me it is.

It means taking a step back when I already feel nervous, instead of pushing forward and grasping at a sense of control, for comfort.

I have no doubt it is going to be an amazing trip, and probably a once in a life time experience. But it’s also showing itself to be a learning curve, and a lesson in letting go.

Another week, another list of good things! I think the last Good Things post may have jinxed us, as no sooner did I write about not having to defrost the car, we got hit by the Beast From The East, and honestly I’ve never seen so much snow – my front garden has completely disappeared from sight lol.

This week I’m feeling a lot more positive and optimistic about things to come, so maybe the changes I laid out in this post are already helping… Either way I’ve rambled enough, so here are my 7 Good Things:

1. Vero – True Social – Would I even be a blogger if I didn’t mention this? Admittedly it’s a bit glitchy as it is struggling to adapt to the sudden surge in users but I love the idea of this app. The only downside so far is that I’m struggling to find people to follow, so if you’re on it –let me know!
2. Leisurely lunches – it can be so easy to just grab a quick something and move on to the next task on your to do list, but whether at work or at home I always feel better if I actually stop what I am doing and take time out for lunch. Even if it is a #saddesklunch
3. Clean Inboxes – Talking of work, ever have them days you feel you might never have a clear inbox, ever again. As soon as you reply to one message, three more appear. That pretty much sums up last week, but it felt so good managing to get on top of it!
4. Snow – OK, this could easily be on a 7 bad things list because I hate driving in the stuff, but it is very pretty and helps make some very cosy nights in.
5. Things Becoming Real – We made an offer on a house this week, and although it was unsuccessful it’s made the house-hunting process feel a lot more real.
6. The Little Things – Some girls only swoon over a Mercedes, but in truth is there anything better to coming home and finding bae has already tidied up/ironed/made tea?
7. Having A Clear Plan – For this piece of coursework I’ve broken it down into chunks and come up with a plan. Of course, there’s the danger I’ll be side tracked by The Real Housewives Of The OC and not stick to it, but having a plan in place makes me feel like I might actually have my shit together. Big up all da organisers and list makers out there!

I never know how to sign off on these posts, because lets face it – other than sharing things that have made me smile, there isn’t a definite, clear point. I’ve made no argument, shared an opinion or started a discussion.

In a weird way, maybe the point is sharing positive vibes, however small or random is enough in itself.

Peace out.