I considered using this post as a re-introduction, but for all intents and purposes that would be a waste of words. My name is still Rebecca Cotzec. I still have the same job, I’m still planning a wedding and on the surface, everything is still very much the same.
Instead, this post can act as that little notification that pops up overnight.
Rebecca Cotzec has been updated.
For the last few months, I felt as though I was in the middle. Although my values, likes, and interests hadn’t really changed I was floating somewhere between old habits that no longer served me and the person I was to become – but I wasn’t quite there yet.
Not so long ago, this would have sent me into a tailspin, full of questions, doubts, and confusion – but now I’ve learned to ride it out. To trust fate. To believe that everything will work out perfectly. As such, I went with the flow. I spent my evenings and weekends with my nose to the grindstone until my dissertation was submitted.
Then I spent a month slobbing about gloriously. I watched TV, slept and allowed myself to scroll as mindlessly through social media as I wanted, for as long as I wanted. I savoured lazy morning reading, mid-afternoon magazines and ‘shall we just make something quick’ teas.
In short, I gave myself permission to cocoon myself in the things that felt good there and then. And now, I’ve decompressed and am stepping forward more confident, content and peaceful than I’ve felt in a long time. Without overthinking it, cocooning myself worked, and now here I stand, spreading my colourful wings, stretching out in the sunny season.
Learning to give myself permission for things that only feel good was a hard lesson. Maybe it’s a sign of the times, maybe it’s the plague of womanhood but I know a lot of us struggle with this.
There’s always something else we could be doing.
There’s always some goal we should be striving for.
There’s always someone else we should be pleasing.
We’re often told that growth comes from pushing ourselves further, from reaching new goals and discarding our comfort zone. I’m sure in 90% of cases this is true. But let’s not forget the 10%.
The small section of us that thrives in fleece covered, biscuit eating comfort. The peace and silence that allows to reconnect with ourselves. The calmness that clears our view.
For now, I’m enjoying the person I’ve become. And I’m although I’m in no rush, I’m excited to see what the next update brings.