When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a personal blog. Not just beauty, not just reviews of this or that, I wanted it to reflect more of me than previous attempts at blogging had. Hence the name, I suppose. As such, I decided that I’d be honest with what I wrote, or as honest as I could be while taking into account other people that would be affected/I’d have to face day-in-day-out. But I can’t help feeling that I’m sailing pretty close to the wind with this one; though it may not seem so to the outsider.
The last fortnight has been a roller-coaster emotionally. If I had to choose one, although my knowledge of roller-coasters is sketchy at best – it would be the big dipper at good ol’ Blackpool.
It involved pieces of the past, or my past at least, and included a very steep nosedive… the kind of nosedive where you’re not sure even the safety harness can be trusted. Over the course of a few days, or maybe a few hours (even I’m not sure) many of my relationships (of all types) were redefined. Thankfully, after a lot of effort on all sides, it seems things are on the up. The blue, summer sky is once again engulfing my vision.
All of this however made me realise something that I probably forget more than I should. You can speak to people every day, you can chat about life and know that they care about you. You know they love you, and that’s fine because life’s marching on. It’s only when life takes an unexpected turn that you get reminded about how much people care. It’s a cliché, but that’s because it’s true.
People whether lovers, friends or family will tell you (sometimes repetitively) all the things they think you need to hear to make the best choice. They will say things you didn’t necessarily want them to, with the hope of giving you the best chance and the best perspective.
Somethings will upset you, some will shock you but everything they do is with your best intentions at heart; they want what’s best for you. Which when you think about it, is really rather special. How many people will speak like that to your face, will say things that may rock you’re happily plodding relationship in order to protect you? Not many I’m guessing. Most, at best, will spout some advice they once read in Cosmo and kinda-sorta fits the situation if you change a few of the words around.
That said, all of that well intentioned advice can sometimes be a bit smothering – sometimes you need to throw your toys out the pram and stomp off. You need to get some time alone to think things through. While that girl on the #ThisGirlCan poster might brag her head-space is 25 metres long, even a ten minute window can do the trick. Sometimes a bit of silence can tell you where your heart is.
Now I’ve written all this, I’ve realised the goal of this blog post has changed. It’s no longer entirely about appreciating those that support you. It’s not entirely about realising when you need to step back and think things through for yourself. I guess it’s a bit of both, and a bit of a confession of things I’ve forgotten along the way..
These last two weeks have reminded me just how bloody brilliant my boyfriend/family and friends are. So maybe this post is just a blatant blag, eh?