Way back when I was doing my first degree, we had a lecturer named Angelica. And Angelica was a Woman Who Meant Business. If anyone dared to sneak in late, she would stop to call them out in front of the whole lecture hall. A hundred or so people would turn to stare as they attempted to muster an excuse.
Needless to say, the excuses were never good enough.
And that is how I feel now… starting a blog post about 2019, almost a month in. I should have written this sooner but a few weeks of getting back into work, birthdays and feeling poorly firmly delayed my plans. So here I am, mumbling my excuses, hoping we can forget my lateness just one time more.
2018 – What The Hell Happened?
Romances might be like a whirlwind, but 2018 was definitely more of a tornado. It was amazing, exciting and destructive. Craig and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary, we bought a house & booked a wedding. I gained my highest ever marks for my Master’s degree and took up running. But we also trudged through terminal diagnosis’s and multiple deaths.
There were times the future felt bright and sparkly. Like I could accomplish anything. And then there was times where a high level of stress was the new normal. Periods where I felt overwhelmed by even just going through the motions – where I had to have a hard look at my life and make changes for the sake of my health.
There were times it was glorious, times it was hard and it was constantly tiring and chaotic.
But I’m harbouring a secret.
I’m feeling so positive much more about 2019. An unjustified, undefeatable optimism.
What I’m Carrying Into 2019
2018 taught me a lot of things, mainly that its impossible to be a brilliant student/employee/partner/daughter/sister/friend/runner/blogger/all the other things we want to be all of the time. We only have so much energy, and we need to be responsible and careful with where we spend it. I realised I can take the pressure of myself and the world won’t fall apart. In short, it taught me the power of a simple ‘no.’
During the harder parts of last year, I was certainly playing and losing at the comparison game. I think when you feel like your trudging through treacle its only natural to wonder when it’s going to get easier, and when you’re going to be able to cash your cheque. After all, ever since primary school you’ve been promised that hard work equals success.
However this year, with the help of this podcast, I’m redefining success on my own terms. Sure, maybe some people have a nicer car than me, but would I want the lifestyle they have to afford the it? Taking my blinkers off and looking, not just at the shiny things like holidays and homes, but also what they have sacrificed to get there is helping to stop the comparisons. It’s helping me understand what is important to me now and how I want my life to look in the future.
Finally, I’m getting boring about fun. Does that make sense? Let me explain a bit better, I’m starting to actively plan adventures big and small. A read an example ages ago about a new coffee shop opening in town – you make a mental note to try it out, but then you never do. It’s easy to plan everything but Fun – instead we feel it should be spontaneous and natural. It should happen without any effort. But, in the busy modern world, that’s not how it works. Time needs to be allotted and plans confirmed before another weekend slips you by.
I’m sure 2019 will be full of surprises and curve balls, but by taking these lessons forward I’m hoping that I’ll be in a positive place no matter what happens.