Can Science Explain My Relationship?

2014 year review crete holiday

The ‘thank god we survived the mountain trek’ holiday photo.



Science. It’s a wonderful little thing isn’t it? It can explain many things, and even things you never actually thought about. But can it analyse relationships correctly?

Many people argue that it is our ability to form relationships with one another (for more than just basic needs i.e. food/reproduction) that sets us apart from the animals. Anyone who has ever loved, or loved and lost knows how complex relationships can be. So can focus groups and studies, not only understand relationships but also explain them? According to the amount of infographics fluttering around on social media, it would seem many people would think so. As such, let’s put the popular ones to the test.

First off, let’s look at a Facebook favourite. Does how you sleep subconsciously tell all about you and your beau? Body language experts claim so, and if you want to see what your sleeping habits say about your relationship the full article is here (because let’s face it, who’s got better stuff to do on a Monday night.)

Can science explain relationships body language whilst sleepingCan science explain relationships body language whilst sleepingCan science explain relationships body language whilst sleeping


Using the names from the study in the course of a night me and the boyf go from ‘The Nuzzle’ (sleeping with one person’s head on the other’s chest) to ‘The Back Kissers’ (facing apart but touching at the lower backs) and move on to the ‘Liberty Lovers’ (facing apart, lying separately) when for no apparent reason he becomes a human radiator. Nuzzlers, Back Kissers and Liberty Lovers… This is beginning to sound like one strange film series, is it not?

According to body language that means we have a high level of trust (so far so good) and begin like a new relationship. We then move on to being comfortable with each other (true) and the position of people who have been together under a year (not so true, we’re heading into our 7th year.) We end with independence (true again) and the stance of long-term couples.

So according to this, we have a high level of trust, are comfortable with each other and are independent, this rings true to me. We also go through the course of a relationship emotionally every night. I’m not too convinced about this whole study; surely to be in a happy independent relationship you also need high levels of trust – which means nuzzling and being liberty lovers at the same time; which needs a whole lotta flexibility. Besides, the idea of the entire emotional course of a relationship in one night sounds exhausting.

Sticking with the B’s we can move on from body language to biology. New research suggests that the more testosterone you are exposed to in the womb, the more likely you are to cheat. I guess it’s down to all the male hormones wanting to go spread the seed. Luckily for us, there’s a way to tell if you had higher levels of testosterone whilst in the womb as it apparently affects finger length (maybe not the first ‘length’ you’d think of). If your ring finger is longer than your index finger you were exposed to higher levels and thus are more likely to cheat. After measuring both mine and (a slightly confused) boyfs fingers it seems we’re both of the faithful variety. To my knowledge nobody has cheated, so it seems all’s well and because of the ‘hard science’ behind this study I’m more inclined to believe this study over the body language one.

When I started writing this blog post, I figured I’d feature a few studies to get a good overall idea… yet most of these ‘studies’ or infographics don’t actually seem to have any science behind them. Shocker, I know.

So instead let’s just end this blog post on a chemistry note; if you’ve got chemistry and it feels right, it probably is. <3




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