OK, as some of you guys may have noticed, I haven’t been as strict with my blogging schedule as normal lately. Some posts have been late, and some have been non-existent. I do apologies for that, but realistically I have no explanation as to why.
Although I have been getting up and working hard in my job, in basically all aspects of my personal life, for the last few weeks I’ve just been so unmotivated. Exhaustively so.
I have almost no memory of the last few weeks, other than being grumpy and snapping at people, because I have done literally nothing. I have got up and gone to work, come home and slept on the sofa, then gone to bed. Exciting eh.
I was tired, grumpy and desolate – with absolutely no reason to be so. I couldn’t fix on any specific problem so diagnosed myself with anything and everything that included tiredness as a symptom.
I tried all the usual things to shift the bad mood that turned into bad weeks, but nothing helped. I even wrote a blog post about being happy in the hope that it would lift my spirits but it didn’t.
Then Friday night came. I was with the boyfriend chatting about nothing in particular, but feeling that something wasn’t just quite right. As soon as there was a lull in the conversation, I broke down. I was crying uncontrollably – much to the boyf’s surprise and confusion. I wanted help, I wanted him to make the world an ok place once again, but whenever he came close or tried to speak to me I would bite his head off. Because god forbid, I, Rebecca Cotzec, would need somebody else to help me emotionally.
Although I still don’t know the reason I was feeling like that for so long, or what brought on the epic crying session I do know one thing. I am feeling a lot more positive since it happened. I’m feeling motivated, energised and once again ready to take on the world.
So basically that is the reason why the blog has been a bit all over the place lately, but I can fully assure you; normal service has been resumed.