getting back to blogging

As I sit down to write this, it feels weird. I feel kinda shy… that’s how long it’s been since the last blog post. So what’s been going on? I’m finally getting back to blogging.

December, as long ago as it feels now, was manic. Although there were so many good parts, the main thing that stands out (other than Christmas, obviously) was the busyness. As well as all the preparation for Christmas, and the low staffing levels at work, I was fast approaching my first ever deadline for my degree.

Although I only graduated from my first degree 3.5 years ago, the thought of my first assignment for this degree terrified me. I felt totally out of the academic loop – like hold up babes, how do you write an essay again?

Then there was the blogging side, as much as I feel I shouldn’t admit it, blogging is hella competitive. Although I am nowhere near as active or creative on social media as a lot of bloggers, there still felt the pressure to be ‘on.’ To be tweeting and reading others blogs, to be improving my photography, to be finding things worthy of Instagram.

As the deadline for uni got closer, I got more stressed than I can remember ever being. I guess I must have started grinding my teeth in my sleep out of stress, because one morning I woke up and genuinely thought I had tetanus. I couldn’t open my mouth, and it was only Craig’s calming influence that stopped me from self-diagnosing myself straight to A&E.

It felt like I’d got myself into a vicious circle. Whatever, or whoever I spent time with left me feeling guilty for neglecting other tasks. And so, something had to give. And that something was the blog.

Looking back though, I feel like maybe taking a blogging break was a bit too little too late. After Christmas, I caught a bug that I just could not shake off. It got worse and worse and eventually left me taking four days off work, high off paracetamol and unsure if there were any other clothes in existence other than pyjamas.

I guess it was the wake up call I needed. No matter how much you want to be pushing forward and creating the sparkliest life you can, you can’t forget yourself. The days or weeks that you don’t have time for self-care are the days exactly when you need it most. It’s like those grimey, peeling aeroplane leaflets instruct you: take care of yourself first, then worry about everything else.

This year, I’m going to try my best to remember that. No matter how much we want to do, or have to do, we have to schedule in time to just be. To do the things that make us feel grounded and refreshed and ready to conquer the world.

So yeah, in a long, rambling way here’s the point: I’m back to blogging. I’m back to feeling more like me, I’m back to feeling at peace. And I’m preaching about the importance of self-care.

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